“The guy just stood there. Hello. There’re zombies everywhere. Try looking behind you, douche canoe.”

“And now?" I touched Baltic's cheek, drawing his attention away from tragic memories. "Is he being coldly mad now?""No. I thought at first he was, but I see now that the act of being raised as a shade has changed him, leached the madness out of him."Behind us, present-day Constantine yelled, "You call me a douche canoe? I am not the douche canoe -- you are. No, you are more than that -- you are a douche speed-boat!""Most of the madness," Baltic qualified.”

“This is the part in the movie where that guy says, "Zombies? What zombies?" just before they eat his brains. I don't want to be that guy.”

“We'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent lifeforms everywhere and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.”

“and we’ll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere … and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.”

“...I looked for a scrape in my reflection and then, meeting my own eyes, stood for a sec and tried to figure, like all girls in all mirrors everywhere, the difference between lover and slut.”