“The Mets have heart and character, and I need a man who can root for the underdog. I refuse to sleep with a Yankees fan.”

“some people might argue that a fan who roots for a losing franchise isn't a very smart fan, but you have to be pretty crafty in the head to continually enjoy cubs baseball. who do you think is smarter? the Yankees fan who can't be happy just getting to the World Series? or the Cubs fan, who can somehow manage to have the best summer of his life watching his team finish 17 games out of first place”

“I am a die-hard Red Sox fan, and yes, I dated a Yankee fan. I know I should be kicked out of The Nation for that, but I couldn’t help it. He was way too charming back then.”

“People only rooted for the underdog in movies, not in middle school.”

“All literary men are Red Sox fans - to be a Yankee fan in a literate society is to endanger your life.”

“But wise is the man who disdains no character, but with searching glance explores him to the root and cause of all.”