“I’d smack you over the head with it so hard your bell would still be ringing for Church next Saturday night. ~ Jaz”

“I like these boots," I told Vayl."Do you think they'd sell them to me cheap? I keep ruining mine.""Since when do you fret over money?" he asked with amusement. "I was not even sure you knew what to do with it."I shrugged. "A women has needs.""Still." said Cole. "Gosh, Jaz, why didn't you say something to me? I'd never let you suffer.”

“Cassandra watched him go, slumping a little as the distance between them grew. "He was so nice.""Yeah.""And look at that butt."I considered said item. "Definitely superior. But not for Cassandra hands?"She shook her head sadly. "Another person stands between us now. He'll meet her within the month.""Is she prettier than you?"Cassandra started to smile."Well?""No""Ha!""Jaz!""Honey, we've got to take our victories where we can find them.”

“Hey, if you decided to tear up the town, you can always use the leftover bread from my breakfast in place of your cane. I'm pretty sure it's hard enough to bust heads.”

“They hired us over the Internet, mailed us half the cash and promised the other half after we nailed the vampire."I lowered Grief until it pointed straight at Rudy's crotch. "You two wouldn't recognize the Internet if a server fell on your heads. So give it to me straight this time, Rudy, before I lose my temper and make sure Junior grows up an only child.”

“Fear sucks. Because you never know when it will attack. Sometimes it sneaks up behind you, giggling like your best girlfriend from seventh grade. Then it whacks you on the back of the head, takes you straight to your knees before you realize what hit you. Other times you can see it coming, just a dot on the horizon, but you're like a canary in a cage. All you can do is hang in there and hope you don't get motion sickness and puke all over the newspapers.”

“Sometimes things would be so much simpler if you could just pull out your gun and shoot the bad guy. Reason number seventeen why Indiana Jones is my hero.”