“How did they go from Braveheart to Brigadoon in less than five minutes?”
“I've learned that things can always suck worse than they did five minutes ago.”
“Sometimes what I did five minutes ago scared the fuck out of me five minutes later.”
“I did it thirty-five minutes ago.”
“Irwins are never more alive than when they’re five minutes away from getting slaughtered.”
“Beautiful girl; when I hit on women, they are fucking me in less than five minutes; last time I checked we still have our clothes on.”