“Quite honestly, a baby covered in blood, still slightly blue, eyes screwed up, in the first few minutes after birth, is not an object of beauty.”

“Where is the bane of my existence?""In the shower, freshening up."Damn it all to hell. "Oh God, who did Ascanio screw now?""No, no, he's covered in blood.""Oh good." Wait a minute. "The kid is covered in blood and we're relieved. There is something wrong with us.”

“My reaction to porno films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first twenty minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live.”

“He did not recognize himself either. He was a totally new being, bald, covered with grease and blood, pink and blue eyed: he was his own baby...He was a great fat chuckling baby, and he shat and peed in his filthy trousers and kept driving.”

“Screw sharks; a Transformer could be stretching up on its tippy toes and would still have a mile of cover to eat me.”

“Don't you have any clothes?""Quite honestly, no I don't." "Cover yourself up!" "Fine." There was a rustling sound. "Okay I'm covered. I had no idea you were such a prude.”