“Tip: Unpopularity is a state of mind. Feel nerdy. Think uncool thoughts. It also helps to use the word “vaginal” a lot.”

“To be unpopular, you must look the part. Remember four words: plastic flowered swim cap.”

“Growing up, it seemed, was just a series of disenchantments. First you find out there's no Santa Claus; then you find out there's no such thing as happily-ever-after.”

“Real life, real love, isn't the way you see it in movies or read about in books.”

“Revel in grossness. Leave food in your teeth. Proudly display feminine hygiene products.”

“We need to crush the Invisible Hand. The economy isn't a natural phenomenon. It is just a tool or a mean, that should be dedicated to one only goal; the pursuit of global prosperity.”

“As that great philosopher, Mary Poppins, once said, 'A spoonful of sugar makes the feminism go down.”