“Adam strokes my head, my face, he kisses my tears. We are blessed.Let them all go.The sound of a bird flying low across the garden. Then nothing. Nothing. A cloud passes. Nothing again. Light falls through the window, falls onto me, into me. Moments.All gathering towards this one.”

“We said we'd be friends.'He looks confused. 'Yeah.'I don't want to be.'There's space between us, and in that space there's darkness. I take another step, so close that we share a breath. The same one. In and out.Tess,' he says. I know it's a warning, but I don't care.What's the worst thing that can happen?'It'll hurt,' he says.It already hurts.'He nods very slowly. And it's like there's a hole in time, as if everything stops and in this one minute, where we look at each other so close, is spread out between us. As he leans towards me, I feel a strange warmth filtering through me. I forget that my brain is full of every sad face at every window I've ever passed.”

“Moments. All gathering towards this one.”

“But all that is warm will go cold. My ears will fall off and my eyes will melt. My mouth will be clamped shut. My lips will turn to glue....No taste or smell or touch or sound.Nothing to look at. Total emptiness for ever.”

“Then she says, ‘I love you.’ Like three drops of blood falling onto snow.”

“And now he's down this for me. He's made me famous. He's put my name on the world.”

“It's really going to happen. I really won't ever go back to school. Not ever. I'll never be famous or leave anything worthwhile behind. I'll never go to college or have a job. I won't see my brother grow up. I won't travel, never earn money, never drive, never fall in love or leave home or get my own house.It's really, really true.A thought stabs up, growing from my toes and ripping through me, until it stifles everything else and becomes the only thing I'm thinking. It fills me up like a silent scream.”