“If you try to make a shrimp boil, but the bag of spices bursts, and so you just toss it in along with whatever spices you can find in the pantry--you can make homemade pepper spray. Unintentionally.And everyone at your dinner party will run outside for the next hour, coughing and tearing up as if they've been maced, because technically they kind of have been, because mace was one of the spices I found in the panty. I blame whoever makes spice out of mace, and I remind my gasping dinner guests that even if I did mace them, I did it in an old fashioned, homemade, Martha Stewart sort of way. With love.”

“Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go. ”

“He's just watching out for you, Desiree.' Dee patted Mace's arm. 'Bless his heart.'Mace growled. 'I know that's not a compliment, Dee-Ann.”

“The cherry poppin’ conversation in your living room was the topic of conversation for days. Mace taped it and played it for the whole team.” I was back to staring at him with my mouth open and I think my heart stopped beating. “Look at this as your way of getting even,” he finished.“That’s it!” I declared. “No cooked for Mace. I don’t care if he did beat someone up for me.”

“You know what we call you? Bitch Spice, Burtch Spice, Slut Spice and Stupid Spice.'Thomas Mackee says this”

“Just in case you get any ideas, know that I’ll be sleeping with a can of Mace in one hand and pepper spray in the other.” - KatieJorlan's expression turned mocking. “Just in case you get any ideas, know that I’ll be sleeping with a feather in one hand and massage oil in the other.”