“Recently, I spent eight days in a car with my co-host from Top Gear James May, who has a notoriously flatulent bottom. But because he was living on army rations the interior was always pine fresh and lemon zesty.”

“Money spent on good-quality gear is always money well spent.”

“You know, you’re topping from the bottom,” he murmurs against my lips.“What?” I don’t understand what he’s talking about.“Don’t worry. I’ll live with it,” he whispers, amused...”

“I just can't convince myself that everything is okay again. Rationally, nothing has really happened to me. My days are spent as they always have been, but when I am lying alone at night in my big bed I'm lying on a bed of pins. I can't sleep anymore.”

“very quietly, I heard a voice in my ear.It said, in a weird, cheesy, right-out-of-one-of-my-mother’s-novels way, “Ah. Wemeet again.” I turned my head, just slightly, and right there, practically on top of me, was theguy from the car dealership. He was wearing a red Mountain Fresh Detergent T-shirt—not just fresh: mountain fresh!—it proclaimed, and was smiling at me. “Oh,God,” I said. “No, it’s Dexter,”

“Always strive to get to the top in life because its usually crowded at the bottom.”