“Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst. ”

“The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!”

“What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?”

“If I want a long boring story with no point to it, I have my life.”

“You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.”

“i chose not to run”

“I don't wanna be a Pirate!!!!”