“The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!”

“Why do you think people cheat?," I asked."Because they're bored? Because they can? Because they're selfish and think they're entitled to anything they want? Because they don't think they'll get caught?”

“You take girls, for example. They're copying their moms and magazines and everything to know how to act around guys. I mean it's not like in movies where girls like assholes or anything like that. It's not that easy. They just like somebody that can give them purpose.”

“And still she felt more confident at the prospect of taking on the Russian Mafia than she did attending a backyard barbecue.”

“You can't tell the audience — well, you can, but I don't like to tell the audience — that anything they're watching doesn't matter.”

“When a country goes to war, it acts like a sociopath. It sends people like me out in the woods to do the most evil things we can think of, but everybody else pretends like they're on the side of the angels. The reality is, if the angels want to win, it takes the devil to succeed.”