“It's not like I ever wanted to wake up and just be a grossly overpaid, self-loathing, can't-look-in-the-mirror-without-gagging TV writer.”

“Sometimes I feel like a writer, sometimes I just feel like a snitch.”

“Sometimes, it's like you know what people think: You know what they're thinking, and you know it's wrong. All you want to do if change their mind, but you can't.”

“The second time I took acid, I watched myself in the mirror for nine hours. What I realized, when I stared, was that my face looked exactly the same when I cried as when I laughed. After awhile I couldn't tell which I was doing. Relief was just pain inside out.”

“Half the reason I turned into a writer is you didn't have to show up anywhere. You could work naked.”

“Creativity is the opposite of TV.”

“We can't live together," I remember screeching. "We're married. It's too corny!”