“If I've heard this saying once, I've heard it a thousand times - Everything happens for a reason. And it possibly does. I just haven't found the reason that this all happened yet.”

“You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times,And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you.But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry,Is how long must I wait to be with you.”

“I'm trying to make some sense out of the phrase "Everything happens for a reason," and I think I've figured out what the reason is - to pissed me off.”

“Committing suicide so as not to be murdered is the worst reason I've ever heard of to die. ”

“All I'm saying is once you've been out in the woods and heard the things I've heard, you'd believe in Big Foot and the chupacabra.”

“One thing I've learned is that strange things do happen. They happen all the time. Today, for instance, my best friend Jill's cat spoke. We were making brownies in the kitchen when we heard it say, 'Let me out.”