“The problem is, there is absolutely nothing "fun" about falling in love. Nope. Mostly it just makes you feel sick and crazy and anxious and nervous that it's going to end miserably and ruin your whole life. And guess what: Then it does.”

“One nice thing about heaven is that you can relive all your favorite moments and memories pretty much as many times as you want—sort of like a DVD of your whole life. Pause, rewind, fast-forward, slowwww motion, all day, every day.”

“News flash: The whole thing is a huge mess and a giant nightmare and it’s all about to explode in your face and you have no idea whatyou’ve gotten yourself into. Love is no game. People cut their ears off over this stuff. People jump off the Eiffel Tower and sell all theirpossessions and move to Alaska to live with the grizzly bears, and then they get eaten and nobody hears them when they scream for help.That’s right. Falling in love is pretty much the same thing as being eaten alive by a grizzly bear.Believe me, I should know.”

“Hell is when people you love the most reach right into your soul and rip it out of you. And they do it because they can.”

“Turns out, hell's not so much a burning, scalding pit of fire and misery. It's actually much, much worse than that. Hell is when the people you love the most reach right into your soul and rip it out of you. And they do it because they can.”

“You can obsess and obsess over how things ended—what you did wrong or could have done differently—but there's not much of a point. It's not like it'll change anything. So really, why worry?”

“Not that I was obsessive or anything.Au contraire, mon frere.For the record, I would like to point out that it is NOT obsessive to memorize a boy's schedule so that you can accidentally bump into him. It is called being efficient. Why waste time and energy running around town trying to guess where a guy's going to be, when instead, you can actually know? And then you can actually be there. Pretty straightforward stuff, I tend to think.”