“What kind of wife would I be if I left your father simply because he was dead?”

“I urge the husbands and fathers of this church to be the kind of a man your wife would not want to be without.”

“Oh? And what was I to say? I beg your pardon, Lord Wriothesly, but your wife seems to have acquired a distinct liking for my husband's cock. Would you mind kindly retrieving her to your own bed?”

“Lindsey and I would lie down on the floor underneath it. I would pretend to be the knight that was pictured, and Holiday was the faithful dog curled up at his feet. Lindsey would be the wife he’d left behind. It always dissolved into giggles no matter how solemn the start. Lindsey would tell the dead knight that a wife had to move on, that she couldn’t be trapped for the rest of her life by a man who was frozen in time. ....“You’re dead, knight,” she would say. “Time to move on.”

“When I was little I bragged about my firefighting father: my father would go to heaven, because if he went to hell he would put out all the fires”

“Catherine Le Vendeur," he asked sententiously, "have you known this man carnally?""No father," Catherine answered. "But, with your kind permission, I would very much like to.”