“I stopped as I thought of poor Jack on my bathroom floor, just another victim of Dr. Phil.”

“So you killed him with what now?""I tried that Dr. Phil book at first"..."And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy.”

“Fuck me, David! Dr. Kelly just tried to eat us!”

“And then, anger gave way to pure and simple job satisfaction. I mean, when I looked at a dead zombie head on a spike, I thought, "Hey, I did that. Picasso would have been proud. Especially how I rearranged that eye”

“I'd always thought the skinny little twerp was anorexic. But apparently what she needed wasn't a sandwich, as I'd often muttered as we left her office, but a manwich.”

“I went all kung fu on his zombie ass.”

“I stared at him. "David, that's prison movies, not zombie movie.”