“So you killed him with what now?""I tried that Dr. Phil book at first"..."And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy.”

“I stopped as I thought of poor Jack on my bathroom floor, just another victim of Dr. Phil.”

“Fuck me, David! Dr. Kelly just tried to eat us!”

“Address one issue at a time.You can't load gasoline, pick up food, AND kill fifteen zombies at once”

“Just because she tried to eat us doesn't mean she was wrong”

“I stared at him. "David, that's prison movies, not zombie movie.”

“I'd always thought the skinny little twerp was anorexic. But apparently what she needed wasn't a sandwich, as I'd often muttered as we left her office, but a manwich.”