“Aren’t universal transmissions supposed to be pure and uncorrupted?”

“The guy you're really supposed to be with can be standing right in front of you and you don't even notice because you're too distracted by the one you think you're supposed to be with.”

“the universe has a place and purpose for everything and everyone. sometimes we cannot know what that place is. or what the purpose of everything that happens to us will be. that is why we must allow the natural order of things to occur.”

“Karma comes after everyone eventually. You can't get away with screwing people over your whole life, I don't care who you are. What goes around comes around. That's how it works. Sooner or later the universe will serve you the revenge that you deserve.”

“My mom tries to comfort me by saying that girls like Heather Campbell tend to peak early in life and then quickly fade. That's why she looks so much better than everyone now. But by the time I go to my ten-year reunion, I'll be way prettier than she is. To which I always reply with the same statement, "I don't want to be pretty in ten years. I want to be pretty now."Because what good is it to me now that I might or might not be drop-dead gorgeous when I'm twenty-seven? It's not like I can go to school every day with a big cardboard sign around my neck that says, "Trust me, in ten years, I'll look like this." And then an arrow pointing to a picture of a supermodel.”

“People can be so annoying sometimes. With all their stupid opinions and hidden agendas. But dogs? Dogs don’t have any agendas. They’re as honest and open and devoted as you can get. And that’s why they’ll always cheer you up. They’ll always love you. No matter how badly you screw up.”

“If something you did causes failure, shouldn't the exact opposite of what you did bring success?”