“He glanced at Flat Finn, who was positioned in one corner of the room, facing the wall. “What is Flat Finn doing? If he’s urinating on the floor, you’re cleaning it up.” …“Is he in trouble? He has to stand in the corner and think about what he’s done?”

“Wanted to give you a heads up: I heard that Flat Finn sustained an injury the other day. Nothing major, though. Something to do with Matt, a steaming iron, and maniacal shouts of, “There are no wrinkles allowed in this house! You may be flat, but you’re not smooth enough yet for this family!””

“Julie crossed her arms. “I’m serious. Flat Finn can’t possibly go to school with her, right?”“He already went to Brandeis so, no, he doesn’t need to repeat seventh grade. Although they did make him take a bunch of tests in order to qualify out. He barely passed the oral exams, though, because the instructors found him withholding and tight-lipped. It’s a terribly biased system, but at least he passed and won’t have to suffer through the school’s annual reenactment of the first Thanksgiving. He has a pilgrim phobia.”“Funny. Really, what’s the deal with Flat Finn?”“After an unfortunate incident involving Wile E. Coyote and an anvil, Three Dimensional Finn had to change his name.”

“Dude, you need to appreciate how goddamn gifted you are. You’re so smart that I don’t understand what you’re talking about half the time, and we all know how brilliant I am.” Finn winked. “Matty, you’re amazing.”

“Why do you have to correct everything I say?” Julie glanced at his FTW! shirt. “Out of the two of us, I don’t think I’m the one that deviates from the norm.” The train slammed to a stop. “You’re the one who seems to get off arguing.” “You sound exactly like Finn. We’re exchanging ideas. Debating.” Matt looked down at his shorts. “And so far I haven’t gotten off.”

“Julie swallowed. "Flat Finn is on Facebook?" She'd love to see those status updates. 'Got strapped to the roof of the car today for a trip to Starbucks. Would have loved to taste caramel mocha, but can't move arms and so was forced to stare longingly at delicious hot beverage. Will the taunting never end?”

“Finn is God: If you get off your high horse, you'll notice that it, too, poops.”