“She'll need to see another goddamn place, then, because the roaches have unionized and put a stop to further negotiations regarding new tenants. Also, I think I smell a dead body.”

“She thinks, I want an orange soda. And I want vodka to mix into the orange soda. And while we're at it, I'd also like to stop being able to see how people are going to bite it. Oh, and a pony. I definitely want a goddamn pony.”

“I hear Jesus telling us to stop negotiating with Him, to stop offering something we think we have in exchange for His blessings.”

“I also think it is important for women to help one another. I have a saying: There is a special place in hell for women who don't.”

“I liked the idea of marking the place where a life ends as opposed to the place a corpse is buried. And also the idea of leaving remains uncollected. It's bad enough being dead, but it's worse to have people see you dead, and to have living hands feel a dead you, jostle and dress you, push your stiffening arms into clean sleeves and cry over your blood-drained body.”

“Sam, you need experts on this, and I love you, but—”“I’m so new I have that new-car smell about me?”