“Its's just that... this is the realest thing I've had in a long time and it scares me a bit.”

“You are by far the most interesting thing I've had to look at in a long, long time.”

“I know I've lost my mind. But I'm not concerned, because it's the first thing I've lost in a long time that actually feels good.”

“People keep calling it an accident. That snake bit me on purpose. I've named it Sneaky. Sneaky had it all planned. I saw its face.”

“Bad things happen whether you're scared or not, so you might as well not bother being scared. It's a waste of time.”

“All of this causes me to get a bit antsy before any major election.Why? Because the modern American election is an open invitation for people who haven't had a working relationship with a clue since their first driver's test to step up and participate in a decision-making process that will have profound implications for my life and the life of my family long after I've been tucked in for the eternal, celestial dirt nap.Frankly, it scares me to death.”