“Straight? So is spaghetti until you heat it up”

“I'm so ready you could drive a truck straight up my ass and I would bend over and push back until it was in to the rear bumper.”

“If you put a frog in some warm water and slowly turn up the heat, he'll stay there until he boils. Kind of like people. We're too lazy to change so we'll just keep doing what we're doing until it's too late.”

“1971 was the year of spaghetti. In 1971 I cooked spaghetti to live, and lived to cook spaghetti. Steam rising from the pot was my pride and joy, tomato sauce bubbling up in the saucepan my one great hope in life...This is the story from the Year of Spaghetti, AD 1971.”

“The Word of God I think of as a straight edge, which shows up our own crookedness. We can't really tell how crooked our thinking is until we line it up with the straight edge of Scripture.”

“Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.”