“I may make you feel but I can't make you think....your sperm's in the gutter, your love's in the sink.....”

“What makes you think it was your sperm? My sperm is obviously the dominant sperm. My sperm told your sperm to get to the back of line. The boy will have black hair and green eyes.”Sam shook his head. “I bet my sperm listens to your sperm just about as good as I listen to you. My sperm is also very impatient. It ran to that egg. Little Sam is gonna be a handful.”

“I want you to make love to me. I want to go to your room, your bed, be under you, feel you inside me, see your eyes, feel your body and know…we're together. I don't know if that's love or just need, but I know I need you. I need that with you. I need what I've never known and I need it from you. Only you. And it may destroy everything or build something. I really don't know. I just know…Please make love to me.”

“If you hurt her I'll make you pay. I may be old, but that doesn't mean I can't make you suffer.""Damn right. You've got the AARP on your side.”

“You're beautiful, every part of you. I love your hair, the way it looks, the way it feels. I love touching it, smelling it. I love the way you wrinkle your nose when you laugh. It makes me laugh, too, every time. And I love watching you eat. Sometimes you can't shovel it in fast enough, but when you get interested in a conversation, you forget there's anything in front of you. God knows, I love making love with you. I can't even talk about that without wanting you. I love your pathetic attachment to those seniors. I love how hard you work.”

“I think you just want to be in love because you think it's supposed to happen now. But love doesn't happen on schedule. It sneaks up when you least expect it. You can't plug it in into that little day planner of yours. You can't make it happen.”