“Conspiracy!! And now employing juvenile mongoloid demon babies!! My famous chicken recipe will never be yours!! Grr! Woof!”

“My delusionary hell does not agree with yours.”

“Dear Die-ary, there's nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their "discomfort" like a favorite shirt. I can't say I'm very pleased with where my life is just now... but I can't help but look forward to where it's going.”

“And so, irritants, it is with this that I leave you. You are spared so that you can think of what it really is to live in a world that engenders a pain for which there is no comfort. Here is your product! You have the rest of your lives to think of this. And I suggest you think quickly, for a long life is never a guarantee.”

“This is heaven. You can stop praying now.”

“How is it you're so beautiful and so fucking ugly inside!You know it wouldn't take much to make your outside look like your inside!!I could just chop your brain out!It doesn't deserve such a pretty body...”

“I never killed anyone. I avoid going over that edge by writing about a guy who has taken a flying leap over it. ”