“Boner," Peanut said."Oh no," Jade said to the parrot. "No, no, no...you can't say-"Boner""Oh G-d" Jade panicked. "Peanut-""Pretty bird," Dell broke in, smiling at the parrot and speaking low and soft. "Such a pretty girl, Peanut."Peanut preened under his admiring tone. "Pretty Peanut.”

“I mostly eat peanut butter sandwiches. Peanut butter and banana, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and potato chips, peanut butter and olives, and peanut butter and marshmallow goo. So sue me, I like peanut butter.”

“You can spread jelly on the peanut butter but you can't spread peanut butter on the jelly.”

“Jeff: The drive from the valley?Peanut: Was bad as hell!Jeff: Traffic?Peanut: Sucked like hell!Jeff: Drivers?Peanut: Angry as hell!Jeff: And you?Peanut: Were scared as hell!Jeff: Parking?Peanut: Sucked more like hell!Jeff: So?Peanut: We're in hell! ”

“There is also a CAN OF PEANUTS on the desk. Ha ha, oh DAD. You won't be falling for THAT one again any time soon.A severe peanut allergy is a terrible affliction to cope with.”

“Yes," he said sincerely. "Such a one deserves peanut butter on the seat of his pants.”