“Boner," Peanut said."Oh no," Jade said to the parrot. "No, no, no...you can't say-"Boner""Oh G-d" Jade panicked. "Peanut-""Pretty bird," Dell broke in, smiling at the parrot and speaking low and soft. "Such a pretty girl, Peanut."Peanut preened under his admiring tone. "Pretty Peanut.”

“Oh boy. His chest was smooth and warm and hard as stone, and shewanted to both touch and nibble.And lick. Could she pretty please lick?”

“Life is like a boner: long and hard.”

“I mostly eat peanut butter sandwiches. Peanut butter and banana, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and potato chips, peanut butter and olives, and peanut butter and marshmallow goo. So sue me, I like peanut butter.”

“You can spread jelly on the peanut butter but you can't spread peanut butter on the jelly.”

“Jeff: The drive from the valley?Peanut: Was bad as hell!Jeff: Traffic?Peanut: Sucked like hell!Jeff: Drivers?Peanut: Angry as hell!Jeff: And you?Peanut: Were scared as hell!Jeff: Parking?Peanut: Sucked more like hell!Jeff: So?Peanut: We're in hell! ”

“You said you'd kiss me if I lost Tank."---"You want me to kiss you?"Oh boy. "You were happy I'd lost your puppy?"He was looking like he was still thinking about smiling as he glanced down at Tank, tucked under his arm. "No. That would make me an asshole."Right...”