“If it’s going to be two against one, make sure you aren’t the one.”

“If it’s not one thing, it’s another. The other thing is, of course, two. That makes the one thing love, because two is the smallest number you can have to get the one.”

“It’s always our mistakes, the things we aren’t proud of, that are the first ones to stand up, ready to be counted. That’s human nature and it’s not going to change, not for me or for you, either.”

“God gave man two ears and one penis hole for a reason. I’m not sure what that reason is, but I’m sure it’s a good one.”

“Have a story. And make sure it’s a good one. A DAMN good one.”

“In the end nothing matters but the work. You can’t control how it’s taken, and the act of telling a story always involves a gap. Sometimes confusion is the risk of ambiguity–I say that to students all the time. It’s true at the fireside and it’s true in the parlor, and it’s true in made-up towns and New York. Two humans face one another, words come out of one, words go into the other mind through the ears and eyes of the listener. It’s a story. It’s simple. The gap is the thing. Make sure you build the bridge.”