“I held up my ice-cream cone in the gesture of a toast. "Number thirteen: Eat ice cream in public."About this one... I don't get it. What's the big deal about eating ice cream?"Fat people aren't allowed to eat in public."What are you talking about?" she said, a bit snobbily in my opinion. "I notice them eating all the time."Exactly."You lost me."It's hard to enjoy the eating experience when you feel everyone's staring at you, thinking, No wonder she's such a fat cow. Look how she eats."I don't think that!"Sure.”

“You think you're charging up that memory? Is that what you think? You are going to be so sorry when I dream about my experience of eating chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream yesterday. Now that was exciting.”

“If there is shit all around me, how can I eat my ice cream?”

“A serving size on ice cream is like a half a cup. Is that like a joke some guy put on there? "Hey, come here: look what I put for the serving size. Did you see? I just did it as a joke but they're going out like that." You ever know anybody to eat a half a cup of ice cream? "Hey, you wanna go grab something to eat?" "Ah, no. I had a half a cup of ice cream. Ya, a whole half a cup. I just kept eating and eating and eating. I must've had two spoonfuls.”

“Women eat ice-cream, men toast marshmallows.”

“Sucking your thumb without a blanket is like eating a cone without ice cream!”