“At the moment I was mad enough to chew up nails and spit out paper clips.”

“It turns out that Molly wasn't her mother's daughter in that respect. Charity was like the MacGuyver of the kitchen. She could whip up a five-course meal for twelve from an egg, two spaghetti noodles, some household chemicals, and a stick of chewing gum. Molly ...Molly once burned my egg. My boiled egg. I don't know how.”

“Mort drove one of those little hybrid cars that, when not running on gasoline, was fueled by idealism. It was made out of crepe paper and duct tape and boasted a computer system that looked like it could have run the NYSE and NORAD, with enough attention left over to play tic-tac-toe. Or possibly Global Thermonuclear War.”

“The mad rarely know that they are mad. It's the rest of the world, I think, that seems insane to them.”

“What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?”

“I shrugged and said sadly, 'What? Once we gave them the vote, it went totally out of control.''You're a pig, Harry,' Murphy growled.'But a pig smart enough to bow to the inevitable.”

“I can disintegrate a virgin's inhibitions at fifty paces, but I can't last two weeks at a job where I'm wearing a stupid hairnet and a paper hat.”