“Nobody can be bad at everything. There’s no such thing as a perfect screwup.”

“Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.”

“Everything was perfectly healthy and normal here in Denial Land.”

“There are bad things in the world. There's no getting away from that. But that doesn't mean nothing can be done about them. You can't abandon life just because it's scary, and just because sometimes you get hurt. ”

“Rule number one of the wizarding business. Never let them see you sweat. People expect us to know things. It can be a big advantage. Don’t screw it up by looking like you’re as confused as everyone else. Bad for the image.”

“If you can't stop the bad thoughts from coming to visit, at least you can make fun of them while they're hanging around.”

“The vampire’s true appearance was grotesque--but it wasn’t as bad as some of the things I had seen in my day. Some demons were a lot worse, and some of the Elder Things could rip your mind apart just by letting you look at them”