“There is hinkiness afoot with regard to my, ah, disposition.”

“Of course Evil's afoot. If it had switched to the metric system it'd be up to a meter by now. ”

“There was a sound like a human yawn, and then the skull turned slightly toward me and asked, "What's up, boss?""Evil's afoot.""Well, sure," Bob said, "because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now.”

“Ha-ha! Ah-hahahaha! I am wizard; hear me roar!”

“Ah. Medieval-style ransom.”Toot looked confused. “He did run some, but I stopped him, my lord. Like, just now. In front of you. Right over there.” There were several conspicuous sounds behind me, the loudest from my apprentice, and I turned to eye everyone else. They were all either covering smiles or holding them back— poorly. “Hey, peanut gallery,” I said. “This isn’t as easy as I’m making it look.”“You’re doing fine,” Karrin said, her eyes twinkling.I sighed.“Come on, Toot,” I said, and walked over to Hook.”

“Her flawless pale skin was also spangled with gemstones. I don't know how they'd been attached, but they clung to her and sent little flashes of color glittering around the cavern when she moved. They were concentrated most densely around her ... well ... She'd been, ah, vajazzled.”

“What do you need?" Vadderung asked."Advice," I said. "If the price is right.""And what do you think a sufficient price would be?""Lucy charges a nickel.""Ah," Vadderung said. "But Lucy is a psychiatrist. You realize that you've just cast yourself as Charlie Brown.""Augh," I said.”