“I broke my arm in 3 places so I wont be going back to those places.”

“I have hair in places monkeys dont.While giving birth my mother almost dies from rug burn.”

“My siamese twins moved to England so the other one could drive.”

“My father was a Filipino contortionist who was known as the Manilla Folder.”

“There is nothing more bitter than an opportunist who miscalculates.”

“You know you have had a productive day when you run out of semen.”

“If you make some comment even obliquely alluding to menstruation or menopause and its effect on my judgment," Murphy interrupted, "I will break your arm in eleven places.”