“There is nothing more bitter than an opportunist who miscalculates.”

“My father was a Filipino contortionist who was known as the Manilla Folder.”

“I broke my arm in 3 places so I wont be going back to those places.”

“I have hair in places monkeys dont.While giving birth my mother almost dies from rug burn.”

“My siamese twins moved to England so the other one could drive.”

“You know you have had a productive day when you run out of semen.”

“If u cant tell how u feel now and hold on to that than your left not knowing what could have happened. Dont wait and be too late let yourself out now.”