“Don’t ask questions — that was the first rule for a quiet life with the Dursleys.”

“Your great puddin' of a son don' need fattin' anymore Dursley, don't worry”

“Are you insane? Of course I want to leave the Dursleys! Have you got a house? When can I move in?”

“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.”

“Ask us no questions and we’ll tell you no lies.”

“The thing about fantasy — there are certain things you just don’t do in fantasy. You don’t have sex near unicorns. It’s an ironclad rule. It’s tacky.”

“I like a quiet life, you know me.”