“Rita looked as though she would have liked nothing better than to seize the paper umbrella sticking out of Hermione's drink and thrust it up her nose.”

“We should get a move on you know... ask someone. He's right. We don't want to end up with a pair of trolls."Hermione let out a sputter of indignation. "A pair of... what excuse me?""Well - you know," said Ron shrugging. "I'd rather go alone than with - with Eloise Midgen, say.""Her acne's loads better lately - and she's really nice.""Her nose's off-centre," said Ron."Oh I see," Hermione said bristling. "So basically you're going to take the best-looking girl who'll have you even if she's completely horrible?""Er - yeah that sounds about right." said Ron."I'm going to bed," Hermione snapped and she swept off toward the girls' staircase without another word.”

“Ron, you're making it snow," said Hermione patiently, grabbing his wrist and redirecting his wand away from the ceiling from which, sure enough, large white flakes had started to fall. Lavender Brown, Harry noticed, glared at Hermione from a neighboring table through very red eyes, and Hermione immediately let go of Ron's arm."Oh yeah," said Ron, looking down at his shoulders in vague surprise." Sorry...looks like we've all got horrible dandruff now...."He brushed some of the fake snow off Hermione's shoulder. Lavender burst into tears. Ron looked immensely guilty and turned his back on her."We split up," he told Harry out of the corner of his mouth. "Last night. When she saw me coming out of the dormitory with Hermione. Obviously she couldn't see you, so she thought it had just been the two of us.""ah," said Harry. "Well - you don't mind it's over, do you?" "No," Ron admitted. "It was pretty bad while she was yelling, but at least I didn't have to finish it.""Coward," said Hermione, though she looked amused. "Well, it was a bad night for romance all around. Ginny and Dean split up too, Harry."Harry thought there was a rather knowing look in her eye as she told him that, but she could no possibly know that his insides were suddenly dancing the conga.”

“Hermione slid out of her bunk and moved like a sleepwalker towards Ron, her eyes upon his pale face. She stopped right in front of him, her lips slightly parted, her eyes wide. Ron gave a weak, hopeful smile and half-raised his arms.Hermione launched herself forwards and started punching every inch of him that she could reach.'Ouch — ow — gerroff! What the — ? Hermione — OW!'“You — complete — arse — Ronald — Weasley!”She punctuated every word with a blow: Ron backed away, shielding his head as Hermione advanced.“You — crawl — back — here — after — weeks — and — weeks — oh, where’s my wand?”She looked as though ready to wrestle it out of Harry’s hands and he reacted instinctively.“Protego!”

“But Ron was staring at Hermione as though suddenly seeing her in a whole new light.“Hermione, Neville’s right — you are a girl. . . .”“Oh well spotted,” she said acidly.”

“Well, wouldn't it have been easier if she'd just asked me whether I liked her better than you?""Girls don't often ask questions like that," said Hermione."Well, they should!" said Harry forcefully.”

“Have you ever seen anything quite as pathetic?" said Malfoy. "And he’s supposed to be our teacher!"Harry and Ron both made furious moves toward Malfoy, but Hermione got there first - SMACK!She had slapped Malfoy across the face with all the strength she could muster. Malfoy staggered. Harry, Ron, Crabbe, and Goyle stood flabbergasted as Hermione raised her hand again."Don’t you dare call Hagrid pathetic you foul—you evil—""Hermione!" said Ron weakly and he tried to grab her hand as she swung it back."Get off Ron!"Hermione pulled out her wand. Malfoy stepped backward. Crabbe and Goyle looked at him for instructions, thoroughly bewildered."C’mon," Malfoy muttered, and in a moment, all three of them had disappeared into the passageway to the dungeons."Hermione!" Ron said again, sounding both stunned and impressed.”