“You took me for a date at the zoo,said my love left something to prove,so I did all I knew to do,I stole a fat rhinoceros for you!Stolen rhino, in my car,Stolen rhino, now love me moreStolen rhino, I did it for you,Stolen rhino, don't make me steal two!”

“You do not go for a rhine-stone when you can go for the rhino.”

“never thought I'd see a jaguar brought to its knees by rhino shit." Oberon”

“Rhino-mounted Bantu shock troops could have overthrown the Roman Empire. It never happened.”

“Since you left, Leon, the valet, is always drunk, the rice is undercooked, and my underwear is being stolen. I will come to get you and marry you in any country in the world and you'll arrange a lovely room for me, but without a cask with a golden spigot, because that's been stolen, too. I'm not writing anymore. I'm making my mother cry because I'm in despair. Our separation is driving me mad.”

“You stole my heart the night we met, when you sang that ridiculous song and dared me not to laugh. and every moment I have spent with you since then, you have stolen more and more of me until when you're not with me..." He drew in a breath. "When you are not with me, I am left with nothing but longing for you.”