“I’m an apple expert. Apples are the only exam I could ever hope to pass.”

“I hope I never smell the smell of apples again!" said Fili. "My tub was full of ut. To smell apples everlastingly when you can scarcely move and are cold and sick with hunger is maddening. I could eat anything in the wide world now for hours on end - but not an apple!”

“Anyone can count the seeds in an apple, but only God can count the apples in a seed.”

“No man can resist a woman who has an apple in her hand. It's theological. A woman with an apple in her hand is the first woman, the only woman in the world. And he is the first man, he stumbles on love and he cant shake it,never,ever,ever..”

“Any fool can count the seeds in an apple. Only God can count all the apples in one seed.”

“Anyway, the apple is essential. How come these hens don't get it? They go to church year after year, they read the Bible, or at least keep it on their bedside table, and then they forget how the first seduction of the first man occured? With an apple, that's how. No man can resist a woman who has an apple in her hand. Its theological. A woman with an apple in her hand is the first woman, the only woman in the world, and he's the first man -he stumbles on love and he can't shake it, never ever ever.”