“Can I have Jake and Coke--uh, Jack and Cock”

“In a daze, Remi stepped up to the battered old bar, next to Rhys. "What will it be?" the bartender asked Remi. "I'll have a Jake and Coke-uh, Jack and Cock, uh-" Oh fuck. Remi stopped talking. He could actually feel his face heat with a blush. Someone shoot me.”

“Jack: Actually, I was found. Lady Bracknell: Found? Jack: Uh, yes, I was in... a handbag. Lady Bracknell: A handbag? Jack: Yes, it was... [makes gestures] Jack: an ordinary handbag.”

“What's great about this country is America started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest. You can be watching TV and see Coca-Cola, and you can know that the President drinks Coke, Liz Taylor drinks Coke, and just think, you can drink Coke, too. A Coke is a Coke and no amount of money can get you a better Coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking. All the Cokes are the same and all the Cokes are good.”

“Mr. D," Grover asked timidly, "if you're not going to eat it, could I have your Diet Coke can?”

“Hey there, Lissa Daniels," he said. He raised his Coke. "Would you like to say hello to your distant cousin, Jack?”