“You know...acting like a dick...won't make yours any bigger.”
“You know, drinking milk doesn't make your boobs get any bigger.”
“Hey, I have a suggestion, why not put a condom over your head – if you’re going to act like a complete dick then it makes sense to dress like one.”
“It's time you acted like the man that dick you were born with proves you to be.”
“I know it’s not your birthday, but would you like some birthday dick? It’s on sale today.”
“Do you prefer to be called Richard or Dick?” “Ric.” “Dick? I'll make a note of that on your file.” I spoke aloud as I wrote. “Patient prefers to be called Dick.”