“Alan:I asked him what cat we should get,and he said it was my choice, so I got this little black one calledMinnie. I think the cat place must not have known Minnie’s amouse’s name. I thought maybe we should change it, but then Ithought, if Minnie doesn’t know, either, then it’s probably okay.”

“I didn’t know what to spend it on, ’cause my mum said she didn’t want me to buy her nothing. So I was going to buy Larry something, but he said I should spend it on something I always wanted. So I bought a cat.”

“Alan:I used rabbit-skin glue to size the panels. I got it from the artshop. I don’t know if they use real rabbits in it. It seems kind of ashame if they do, but then it’s not like there’s a rabbit shortage, isit? And maybe they only used rabbits that would’ve died anyhow.”

“Alan:I don’t know whatthey did with all the crusts from the sandwiches. Maybe they putthem out for the birds after everyone had gone home. I hoped so.It’d be a shame to waste them.”

“Please go" he said. "Just take my money - take anything - and go"I didn't get why he wanted me to take something, but he seemed really worried about it. So I looked around, and he had a bowl of fruit on the side, so I grabbed an apple, 'cause I always get hungry after I've been drinking."I'll take this, okay?" Then I left him there, but I took the knives and I hid them in the hall cupboard, just in case.”

“That’s my darling little doggie. Bubbles by name, bubbles for brains. You’ve got to love him.”

“We did sixty-nine that night. Larry went on top so he didn’t get squished. He’s really good at sucking dick. I wondered if he’d got exams in that too.”