“I like everything about you, Larry. I like the way you look and how you’re so clever, and I like it when we laugh together and watch TV together. I like going to art galleries with you and hearing you get all bitchy about some of the artists. I like watching you when you’re doing marking, ’cause you get these funny looks on your face. I like watching you sleep and hearing that snuffly noise you make. I like waking up with you at weekends and spending the day together, just doing stuff like walking round town and shopping and cooking and stuff.” I kind of ran out of breath after that.For a moment, I thought he was going to cry.“Is there anything you don’t like about me?”

“I never know what people want to hear when they say that stuff. And it’s not like anything about me is interesting or nothing. “Have you always lived in Cambridge?” I nodded. “Do you live alone?” I nodded again. So then he gave up on twenty questions and started telling me about himself.”

“I gave the wretched beast a look that said plainly I’ll deal with you later.He flicked his tail at me, cat-speak for Do I look like I’m bothered?”

“I went and kissed him to wake him up just like Sleeping Beauty. Although I guess with me it was more like Beauty and the Beast.”

“Please go" he said. "Just take my money - take anything - and go"I didn't get why he wanted me to take something, but he seemed really worried about it. So I looked around, and he had a bowl of fruit on the side, so I grabbed an apple, 'cause I always get hungry after I've been drinking."I'll take this, okay?" Then I left him there, but I took the knives and I hid them in the hall cupboard, just in case.”

“If you’re looking for lollipops and rainbows while you shop for the latest best seller, you best not come to me. I won’t chat you up and tell you how cute your kid is. I won’t smile and flirt. I won’t stroke your ego about the jewelry you are wearing or the shirt you have on. I will help you find what you need. I will recommend books and hell I even talk about what I liked about one book over another but all that other shit is just not my thing.”

“Larry said that Michelangelo was a poof, so I wondered why he’d sculpted a guy with a really tiny cock. But I know when you go to old houses, the doorways are much smaller, ’cause people were shorter then, so maybe cocks were smaller too. It makes me glad I wasn’t born a few centuries ago.”