“I spent a restless night plagued with excruciating dreams of Adam sucking me off in front of Matt, Jay and my mother. Matt and Jay weren’t paying much attention, being too busy excavating each other’s tonsils with their tongues, but Mum was staring with folded arms and narrowed eyes, occasionally muttering, “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Timothy—show a little enthusiasm!”

“Thankfully I had to stand solitary for only one long moment before Jay came back feeling over-the-moon happy. I let his emotion drench me.“What were you and Kaidan Rowe talking ’bout?” Jay asked me. “Man, y’all looked like you were gonna rip each other’s clothes off!” I gaspedand smacked his arm, but he didn’t flinch.“We did not.” My eyes darted over to Kaidan for a fraction of a second, and though he was too far away to have heard, the wink he sent mebrought another flush to my skin.”

“Julie marched over to Matt. She stood in front of him and crossed her arms. “Lift up your sweatshirt.”Matt rolled his eyes. “God, you really know how to turn a guy on.”Julie didn’t budge. “If I was trying to turn you on, I could do better than that. Now, lift up your sweatshirt.”Matt looked up at her and tried to look serious. “Julie, I’m completely offended that you have so little faith in my honesty. I thought at this point in our friendship that you would at least—”“Get up.” Julie leaned over and shut his laptop. “Get up!” she said again.“You’re being ridiculous,” Matt said laughing, but he stood up. “I trust you implicitly, and it wouldn’t kill you to show me the same respect.”“Show me!”Matt sidestepped the chair and took a few steps backward. “You have quite the attitude today. Suspicious and mean.”Julie took a step forward, causing Matt to continue backing away. “Lift up your shirt.”“Look, I appreciate an aggressive woman, but this is really getting weird.”Julie grabbed his sweatshirt by the waist cuff and lifted it up with one hand, as she pulled down his T-shirt with the other. Matt put his hands over hers, lightly protesting, but she refused to let go. “Aha!” She squinted at his shirt. “OK, I don’t even know what this is, but it’s definitely geeky.”

“Very occasionally, if you pay really close attention, life doesn't suck.”

“Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.”

“Mat - Red and Jayne's Matt, Frankie's Matt, my Matt - died of a broken heart.”