“Helping people rocked. This kind of stuff? Sucked hairy donkey balls”

“Having said that, I'll give the two of you my full blessing and support--provided you're not yanking her around," she advised, addressing Sean."I'm not, I swear.""Good. Because if I find out you are? I'll cut off your balls and use them as Christmas ornaments. We're clear?""Mama!"He nearly choked on a bit of pie. "Crystal."Amelia graced him with the full force of her angelic smile. "Fantastic. More pie?"-Eve's Mama”

“Suddenly, Kat turned to face him again. “Oh, and Howard?”“Yes?”“FYI—my number is listed.”With her parting shot, she sashayed off, hips swinging, leaving him with his mouthhanging open. Slowly, a big, sappy grin spread across his face.He scores! Nothin’ but net.”

“Los Diamantes no son la unica coso que prefiero en tamaño extra, Teniente-Kat”

“Marry me he said voice full of emotion. Be my soul mate my friend and my lover as long as we both live. Make babies with me that have curly hair and big brown eyes. Grow old with me and we'll watch the sun set together in the evenings. And when I leave this world I'll be happy knowing I was the best man I could be for having loved you.”

“Damn amigo, someone needs to shove a rainbow up your ass." --Julian to Tommy”

“Tommy to Zack- "Aw, come on. Just a little slow torture, then? Can't I make him scream like a girl, just once?""I can make the worm disappear for you," Joaquin offered with a dangerous smile. "Permanently."Zack rolled his eyes. "Ignore Al Capone. Murdering the competition is never a good plan.”