“Guys don't understand great art. They don't care that sometimes the camera has power beyond the photographer to record emotion that only the heart can see. They're threatened when the camera jumps ahead of me. Todd Kovich was pissed when I brought my Nikon to the prom, but I'd missed too many transcendent shots over the years to ever take a chance of missing one again. A prom, I told him, had a boundless supply of photogenic bozos who could be counted on to do something base.”

“It's different for guys. They don't feel the same way about proms that girls do. Girls see it as a chance to feel like a princess. Guys see it as a chance to have sex.”

“Prom night can be a special night, if you let it be. I know you think it's for losers and something that popular kids do because they are boring people with porcelain hearts who don't know what it means to be lonely. But you're wrong. Prom is a chance for everyone to try oral sex. Go for it. ”

“Elizabeth Bennet, will you do me the great honor of not going to prom with me? ... Will you instead avoid prom with me and let me take you on a date ? ♥ - Will Darcy in Prom & Prejudice ☺”

“I missed you, you dickhead. I missed you so goddamn much. Don't you ever ever ever take off and leave me like that again, do you hear me?”

“This, according to the fellows who saw me as fit for a Service career, put me ahead of the curve, to understand this truth at an age when most guys are starting only to suspect the basics of adulthood--that life owes you nothing; that suffering takes many forms; that no one will ever care for you as your mother did; that the human heart is a chump.”