“The attendant walked closer. "Where'd you come from, soldier?" Tree tried to think of a recent war and coudn't, so he said, "Canada." The attendant looked surprised. "Canada?" "It was a secret mission," Grandpa said. "It saved the Republic," Wild Man whispered.”

“Like my grandmother always said, 'you never know the blessings that come from suffering.”

“To quote Shirley Polanski, head waitress at the Humdinger Diner: "Beware of a big man whose stomach doesn't move when he laughs."I think a Chinese philosopher said it first, but these things trickle down to the food service community.”

“Why do you think, A.J.," they say in unison, "that you find these boys so attractive?" I didn't say that this fiery chemical explosion leaps from somewhere inside me. Parents don't want to hear these things. I shrugged and said nothing. "Maybe you should try sitting on the intensity," Mom suggests, "just until your feelings catch up with reality.""We could chain you to the water heater," Dad offers, "until these little moments pass."You see what I'm up against.”

“I watched that plant in the office every day.Watered it; misted it. I loved thinking about it like G.T. said, but part of me was worried the tree surgery wouldn't take. Something would go wrong and then I"d be stuck with a metaphor that couldn't go the distance.”

“I've never said this to a girl before."I bit my lip, waiting."Well..." He looked down. "I'm not sure how to say this." He took a deep breath and announced, "I really like fighting evil with you.”

“Finally he said, "Hope, do you want to have dinner with me sometime?"I dropped a plastic bottle of Gulden's.We looked at it on the floor. Neither of us picked it up."I mean, I know we have dinner a lot when we're working. I meant out someplace. Together." Braverman picked up the Gulden's bottle, handed it to me. He coughed. "A date."I said, "What is this, an epidemic?"I backed out the door and left Braverman in the supply closet.I don't get asked out too much either.”