“I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.”

“I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.”

“Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.”

“If God wanted us to bend over he would put diamonds on the floor”

“I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't makeit through one door, I'll go through another door -- or I'llmake a door. Something terrific will come no matter how darkthe present.”

“A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.”

“It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up.”