“If God wanted us to bend over he would put diamonds on the floor”

“I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.”

“A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.”

“It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up.”

“Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.”

“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.”

“Ginger did everything Fred did, only backwards and in High Heels!”