“In my opinion, the very fact that Mark doesn't know this diagnostic criterion suggests that he's a lot closer to actual retardation than I am.”

“Our relationship is complicated by the fact that I am emotionally retarded.”

“Lots of things are impossible. Doesn't mean they don't happen every day.""Actually that is what impossible means. You should Google it," I suggested. "Wait, does Google qualify as an impossible thing?”

“↑ top up position downThe fact that I suspect I'm an asshole means I probably am not, because a real asshole doesn't think he's an asshole, does he? Therefore, by realizing that I'm an asshole, I am in fact negating that very realization, am I not? Descartes's Asshole Axiom: I think I am; therefor I'm not one.”

“Not as intolerable as being dead, in my opinion, but I'm very fond of me. I would miss me a lot.”

“In my opinion, the greatest sin in the church of Jesus Christ in this generation is ignorance of the Word of God. Many times I have heard a church officer say, "Well I don't know much about the Bible, but..." and then he gives his opinion, which often actually contradicts the Word of God! Why doesn't he know much about the Bible? These things were written aforetime for our learning. God wants you to know His Word.”