“I tried all kinds of approaches: sexy, friendly, intimidating—nothing worked. I’m starting to think there’s an invisible force field that prevents honest communication between X and Y chromosomes.”

“You have three chromosomes, Bryson. X, Y, and Fuckhead." -- Katz”

“I hear what you say in what you don’t say, you see, because I’m a Helen Keller kind of communicator. Love is just as visible as invisible.”

“I kind of love Colin Farrell again. I think it started with In Bruges. No, I’m lying. It started when I saw a clip of his sex tape where he’s manning the camera and instead of getting all Sex Tape-y, he goes, quite genuinely, “GOD, I’m a TERRIBLE cinematographer.”

“I think I can communicate with kids because I don’t try to communicate with kids. Ninety percent of the children’s books patronize the child and say there’s a difference between you and me, so you listen to this story. I, for some reason or another, don’t do that. I treat the child as an equal.”

“And he says, “I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. And I think I realized that I’maverage, that there’s nothing remarkable about me. And I wanted to know if this is something otherpeople think about.”