“You don't have to be a doctor to know when a relationship is not healthy.”

“How can you develop a healthy dating relationship?Through trial and error, I have found that developing a healthy dating relationship with someone requires that both people have a healthy relationship with God, which they maintain through prayer, scripture study (especially of the Atonement), repentance, and living the commandments.”

“You never know who's waiting for you and you never know when love is coming your way or who it might be. But let me just say, a healthy relationship requires SACRIFICE and DEDICATION.”

“The love doctor, Orafoura, says there are two things that a guy can do to promote a healthy relationship: One, grow out a handlebar mustache, and two, grow a mullet. I don’t know, will radiating lust make me a better lover?”

“Call me a bad private eye, but I came to the conclusion that nobody is happy with what they’ve got. You have a healthy relationship, then, you look for a spicy one. You have an unhealthy relationship, your struggle is to find a peaceful one.”

“You know why doctors slap babies on the bottom when they're born? So the dicks fall off the smart ones."He laughed. "You know why women don't have dicks? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.”