“I took a photo of us, mid-embrace. When I am old and alone I will remember that I once held something truly beautiful.”

“I am one of those servants – butlers usually – who respectfully points out when their master is about to do something stupid: "You should probably only burn the document once the blackmail has been completed, m' lady.”

“I love you more than words. And I am a big fan of words.”

“I am running low on solutions.”

“My mother tells me I do not chew my food enough; she says I am making it harder for my body to get the essential nutrients it needs. If she were here, I would remind her that I am eating a blueberry Pop-Tart.”

“I tell myself not to feel sexually threatened. I am of no special interest; he could just as easily be angling for the printer.”

“Exercise II.Write a diary, imagining that you are trying to make an old person jealous. I have written an example to get you started:Dear Diary,I spent the morning admiring my skin elasticity. God alive, I feel supple.”